Happy Valentine's Day

This would be Kinzie's 2nd Valentines Day.  I was looking through her box of papers and binders and found all the cards and scrapbook pages that were made for her.  Her favorite nurses, Ashley, Becca, and Katie, had made her beautiful Valentines.  While looking at them it hit me that this would have been her second Valentine's Day and that from here on out we won't have any more firsts or missed firsts.  It was healing in a way to finally feel that point of passage in this journey.  We of course redecorated the grave and although it's simple, it feels like Kinzie.  Emma calls the grave Kinzie's Garden and I think we've all started calling that.  It sounds nicer and not so final which is nice since we know we will see her again and all be ressurrected when our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, comes again.  Regardless of which one comes first, we look forward to seeing you again.  Happy Valentine's Day Sweetie.   

 Emma was giving the balloons kisses but I kept missing it. I thought it was still cute.  She picked out the windmill herself and was so excited to put it in the "garden."  She's wanted it for such a long time. 

Emma sent out valentines cards to her cousins in Texas this year and was so excited to mail them herself.  She also made sugar cookies in the shape of hearts and a "heart person" cookie.  Happy Valentine's Day Emma!  We love you and your tenderness towards all people.  You are definitely a little angel, sometimes more red than white, but still an angel.  

Christmas Morning

Christmas morning is always fun when we all get together.  Emma was 2 years and 10 months this year which means that she "knew" what was going on.  It was very fun to see her so happy.  She got a long wanted pillowpet, games, My Little Ponys, jammies, clothes, sunglasses, and yummy treats in her stocking.  I know that presents don't matter and we usually like to be a little more simple but we also felt that she could use a little extra spoiling this year to compensate for some of the loss of the year.  It was worth seeing her smile and has also been great for keeping her busy.  Someone recently told me, "She is one who will keep you busy if you don't keep her busy!"  How perfect.  I think I'll have it framed on her wall!  Merry Christmas!

Gingerbread Houses and New Years Eve

We don't all get together each year for Christmas but when we do we enjoy Gingerbread House contests.  Each little family made their own this year.  Ours is the little square, spanish style in the middle (due to a broken set of pieces).  Emma loved decorating this and only hate twice as much candy as ended up on the house!  In the end, we decided that they could be fun New Year's toys.  Someone came up with the idea to put firecrackers in them and blow them up!  It was quite funny and if my videos would up load you could see for yourself.  Instead you can see the pieces left as the aftermath! 

Happy Birthday Kinzie!

Our Dearest Kinzie,

You would have been one on the 22nd of January.  Oh how we miss you but we had a good day.  Emma tells me that you got our notes in the balloons.  I envy her dreams and whether they are just that, dreams, or actual visits from you or to you, I continue to see her sweet spirit evident in the lasting effect of your love for her.  Most of the time she is content to tell everyone about our baby but she hurts too.  Just a couple days ago she started sobbing in the car (age 2 years, 11 months) and said, "Mom, I just want Kinzie to come back."  All I could say was, "I know honey, I know.  I do too," and try to drive through my tears.  Although we ache for you, we also are beginning to understand how much joy can come from "opposition in all things."  You truly can't understand joy without understanding sadness at some point.  We think of you daily and love you forever. 

Love, Mom, Dad, and Emma

 Thank you to our dear friends and family who were with us on this day.  The flowers were beautiful (sorry Brett and Brittany.  Your flower basket was beautiful but hadn't arrived at the time of this picture) and the calls so appreciated.  Cale's parents were able to come up and send a balloon to heaven too.  It was a healing day and ironically not nearly as hard as the days that would follow. 

 We made a cute bunny cake and decorated your grave.  Emma loves to do this and we do too.  She loved this bunny cake (thank you Doug and Kim for the cake book!) and is so excited for her birthday. 

Happy 32nd!

Happy Birthday Honey!  I can't believe we are making our way through our 30s now and that you are 32.  I still feel 25 and too young to be where we are at but I'm so glad that I am where we are at with you.  You complete us.  You bouy me up when I can't do another day or another hour.  You work long hours and then come home and take over for me.  You do laundry, you cook, you give Emma her bath and wash her hair.  You give and you give and we love you for it.  Happy 32nd honey. 

Merry Christmas Kinzie!

We really enjoy decorating Kinzie's grave and hope to get her headstone this year.  I've been trying to keep up with the holidays more.  Emma loves doing anything for Kinzie!  For Christmas we hung some pretty silver bells on the candy cane as well as the Rudolf stocking.  We switched the flowers to Poinsettias and if you look close at the bottom you'll see our Thanksgiving Pinecone Turkeys which are miraculously still there!

We love you Kinzie!  Ironically we miss you more during this season centered on the most perfect baby of all - Our Saviour Jesus Christ.  But as our thoughts turn to Him and thus to you, we are brought full circle to also pondering that joyous day when He himself will return to the world, bringing you with Him.  

Merry Christmas Sweetie. 

   

Flying a kite!

We have had this kite for so long but every time we think to try flying it, the wind has not been blowing.  Shocking I know for Snowflake.  On this particular day, I had been trying for an hour to help my two year old Emma get her kite to fly...all while letting her do it herself of course.  Finally, I found that this satisfied her little heart!  Not only was the kite "flying" but she was doing it!  (P.S. This is mid-December, no snow...yet)

Santa!

We once again took Emma to the annual Snowflake light parade, town Christmas light lighting, and trip to Santa.  This year was so much warmer than last year and we quickly got in line to see Santa.  We only waited an hour or less and she SAW him.  Last year we waited for hours and then gave up and went home.  She was excited to go sit on his lap but still shy.  Her answers were very monotone and she wouldn't quite look at him.  She did however love the goody bag he gave her full of candy!  The streets are blocked off and the town provided cookies and hot chocolate.  There was chili this year and always live performances!  They include a nativity area too where everyone can gather to see the many sets collected from towspeople.  It's just a fun night.  The light parade needs some work but we always go to Show-Low's too, which is great! 

This last picture is how we feel when we get home but was actually a couple days later.  Yes, there are 3 babies and Emma on his lap, all taking a "nap." 

Emma Loves to Dress Up!

One of my favorite things in the last couple of months has been to watch Emma's imagination develop.  She loves to play pretend, especially as a Princess or Queen.  Everyone gets Princess, Queen or Prince attached to their name, like Mommy Princess or Emma Queen.  She is also fighting me more and more on choosing what she wants to wear.  If I know we are staying home that day, I don't care.  I let her pick but if we are going out in public, it has to match, fit, and be appropriate.  She doesn't like that part.  This is what happens when I let her choose!  lol

 This is her playing pretend.  She is "cutting" Tigger's hair.  She  means combing but says cutting for all hair related things.  Imagine the heart attack the first time I asked her what she was doing and she called back, "I'm in the bathroom cutting my hair!" 

The Fence is done! (For now)

We decided to work on getting our fence in this Fall.  We were hoping to start over Labor Day weekend but things kept getting pushed back until mid October.  You can see from the first pictures that the leaves were still green and the weather good.  I didn't get a picture of the concrete pallet, which was almost as big as the pickets palate, or the amount of screws.  But you can see from the pics that we were in over our heads, but determined to still do it ourselves.  Luckily we are only putting up the back fence right now and will do the West fence next Spring.  

 

 This is basically week 1 and week 2's work.  Drilling the holes, even with a water drill and a post hole digger, had us constantly asking ourselves if Home Depot's installation price would be worth it!  Thanks to some good ward help and Cale's brother-in-law Curtis, we got the posts in.  Our property butts up to a wash and our fence is up on the berm which was made with pond stones 1 foot in diameter or more.  At least I feel safe from a flood, but oh so hard to get out of our holes. 

 Week 3 consisted of getting the rails put up for half the length of the fence while we had some great help.  Then Cale and I were able to put up fencing on our own Week 4.  It was slow progress....

 ...until our previous Bishop, Bishop Peterson, showed up to help!  We cranked out this half of the fence in one day!  (Yes, that is half of the fence.)

Week 5 was the weekend before Thanksgiving and Cale and I were able to finish cutting rails and put them up on the remaining half.  But then cold weather set in.  Which would have been workable but the 50+ winds that came with it were not.  So we waited until Thanksgiving Day!  Cale and his brother-in-law were able to crank out almost all of the remaining fencing.  I helped Cale finish putting up the boards the next day and then Cale went back and finished screwing in the remaining screws!!  Yeah Cale.  It was cold!  Look at the trees compared to the first of the project.  Did I mention it snowed Thanksgiving Day morning!

The best part.....Both cars fit in the garage again just in time for the snow to come!

Potty Trained! (I think so)

I'm not sure at what point you say your child is potty trained.  If you waited until they go 1 week, 1 month or 1 year without an accident then I think we could be waiting a long time.  We started trying to see if Emma was ready to do this in April.  We gave up after a couple of days.  Not ready.  We tried again in May.  Not ready.  Stopped trying really until August when I went back to work on a long term substitute job for 2 weeks.  To get back into her day care, they only had room in the potty training class...so we did it!  She's been really good since then, with accidents here and there.  She started waking up dry each night in late September so I'm going to say she was potty trained as of September 29, 2010.  31 months old!  If you don't count a wet diaper at night then 30 months!  The point: I haven't changed a diaper for over a month!                    

Halloween!

We grew our own pumpkins this year thanks to them spontaneously growing in our front yard.  At one point we had 9 pumpkins.  Some of the little ones rotted a way. 

 

 

 We went to the library's story time dress up day!  Emma loved getting in her costume early, especially the tights!  She is a Ballerina Bat in case you are not sure! 

We had a lot of fun this year but trick or treating was definitely easier last year.  Emma was so excited!  We carved our pumpkins a week early and Emma wanted her pumpkin to have all of our faces on it, including Kinzers of course. 

Then the night of, we went to a ward party where Cale won best dressed adult male - he was Tony Romo complete with the broken clavicle and arm in a sling! 
Next we were off to get candy.  We went to the first house...Emma came running back exclaiming "I go so much candy!...and this was only the first hosue!"  We went to 10-15 houses and then went to our friends house for a bit.  We had one tired little girl and because we were gone all night, we didn't get a single trick or treater.  Unlike last year where we ran out of candy! 
Halloween is my favorite holiday and I wasn't looking forward to it being the first without Kinzers.  It didn't hit me till Sunday so I guess that's good.  We had a great Saturday. 

Bye Bye Hermana Young

My little sister, now 22, decided to go on a mission! And her MTC date in Provo was October 6th, three days before her 22nd birthday! I was trying to find a way to get to Texas to say good-bye but knew it was just too expensive when the thought came to drive up to Utah, much closer and cheaper! So I packed Emma and I up (Cale really wanted to come too but had to coach football)! It was great to spend a couple days with her and then a couple more with my parents and Doug and Kim and family. I brought back 8 boxes of peaches too! Yummy Utah peaches!

Anyway, I'm so proud of Krista. Emma calls her a "murshanary" and loves to tell people that her Kickus is a "murshanary." For those of you who haven't taken a missionary into the MTC for awhile, they no longer have the whole parent program; it's just a curbside drop like at the airport. I prefer it - short goodbyes! So we pulled up, got her luggage out, gave quick hugs and they wisked her away! She is loving it. For info see her blog link. My mom is updating her blog with her letters while she is out. (Good job Mom!) We love Kickus and miss her. Only 17 more months!

Dear Kinzers,
We sure miss you but are glad we have all these really fun pictures to look at. You would be 9 months old today. Hard to believe that it's been 3 1/2 months. I used to think of heaven as above us but have come to find that it is right around us.
Brigham Young said, "But where is the spirit world? It is here...Do spirits go beyond the boundaries of the organized Earth? No, they do not. They are brought forth upon this earth, for the express purpose of inhabiting it to all eternity...If the Lord would permit it, and it was His will that it should be done, you could see the spirits that have departed from the world, as plainly as you now see bodies with your natural eyes."
Thus, Emma teaches me again. Right after Kinzie died, for weeks she would say "Mom, it's ok. Kinzie be back." I'd say not for a long time thinking of the millenium but then stopped saying that because I began to realize that I didn't want to teach what I didn't know. I know spirits can visit people in this world, usually in dreams, and didn't want to tell my daughter that was not or could not happen to her...especially if it was happening. I know children see much better than we do and maybe the veil between heaven and earth is much thinner for them. Maybe. I love both my girls as they teach me daily.
Daddy and Emma miss you too sweetie and think of you all the time!
Love, mom

Canning

I have been keeping busy by canning. My neighbors grow a huge, beautiful garden and are more than willing to share. Thus, I have bottled tomatoes and salsa from their tomatoes and peppers and onions. In addition, many neighbors have apple trees that they aren't harvesting and after asking around was able to pick to my heart's content. I canned applesauce and apple pie filling and have been making pies! I then decided to buy pears and peaches from Utah and can them too. They were the only thing I had to buy! I was so excited. I'm getting ready to do the last batch of salsa again as it's now finally getting cold and the tomatoes are done. I just had to boast for a second I guess because I was amazed at what first began as busy work to distract my thoughts turned into some great food storage! Here is my list:

16 quarts of Tomatoes

35 pints Salsa

24 quarts of Applesauce

30 quarts Apple Pie Filling

50 quarts of Pears

5 pints of Pearsauce

50 quarts of Peaches

My neighbor and I were talking about how much we miss having a DI around us and that I wanted to get Emma a big wheel or bike. She ended up going to Utah shortly after to visit her daughter who just happened to be giving this bike to the DI. She gave it to us instead! They brought it all the way back from Utah just for Emma! And Emma loves it.