Happy Valentine's Day

This would be Kinzie's 2nd Valentines Day.  I was looking through her box of papers and binders and found all the cards and scrapbook pages that were made for her.  Her favorite nurses, Ashley, Becca, and Katie, had made her beautiful Valentines.  While looking at them it hit me that this would have been her second Valentine's Day and that from here on out we won't have any more firsts or missed firsts.  It was healing in a way to finally feel that point of passage in this journey.  We of course redecorated the grave and although it's simple, it feels like Kinzie.  Emma calls the grave Kinzie's Garden and I think we've all started calling that.  It sounds nicer and not so final which is nice since we know we will see her again and all be ressurrected when our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, comes again.  Regardless of which one comes first, we look forward to seeing you again.  Happy Valentine's Day Sweetie.   

 Emma was giving the balloons kisses but I kept missing it. I thought it was still cute.  She picked out the windmill herself and was so excited to put it in the "garden."  She's wanted it for such a long time. 

Emma sent out valentines cards to her cousins in Texas this year and was so excited to mail them herself.  She also made sugar cookies in the shape of hearts and a "heart person" cookie.  Happy Valentine's Day Emma!  We love you and your tenderness towards all people.  You are definitely a little angel, sometimes more red than white, but still an angel.  

Christmas Morning

Christmas morning is always fun when we all get together.  Emma was 2 years and 10 months this year which means that she "knew" what was going on.  It was very fun to see her so happy.  She got a long wanted pillowpet, games, My Little Ponys, jammies, clothes, sunglasses, and yummy treats in her stocking.  I know that presents don't matter and we usually like to be a little more simple but we also felt that she could use a little extra spoiling this year to compensate for some of the loss of the year.  It was worth seeing her smile and has also been great for keeping her busy.  Someone recently told me, "She is one who will keep you busy if you don't keep her busy!"  How perfect.  I think I'll have it framed on her wall!  Merry Christmas!

Gingerbread Houses and New Years Eve

We don't all get together each year for Christmas but when we do we enjoy Gingerbread House contests.  Each little family made their own this year.  Ours is the little square, spanish style in the middle (due to a broken set of pieces).  Emma loved decorating this and only hate twice as much candy as ended up on the house!  In the end, we decided that they could be fun New Year's toys.  Someone came up with the idea to put firecrackers in them and blow them up!  It was quite funny and if my videos would up load you could see for yourself.  Instead you can see the pieces left as the aftermath! 

Happy Birthday Kinzie!

Our Dearest Kinzie,

You would have been one on the 22nd of January.  Oh how we miss you but we had a good day.  Emma tells me that you got our notes in the balloons.  I envy her dreams and whether they are just that, dreams, or actual visits from you or to you, I continue to see her sweet spirit evident in the lasting effect of your love for her.  Most of the time she is content to tell everyone about our baby but she hurts too.  Just a couple days ago she started sobbing in the car (age 2 years, 11 months) and said, "Mom, I just want Kinzie to come back."  All I could say was, "I know honey, I know.  I do too," and try to drive through my tears.  Although we ache for you, we also are beginning to understand how much joy can come from "opposition in all things."  You truly can't understand joy without understanding sadness at some point.  We think of you daily and love you forever. 

Love, Mom, Dad, and Emma

 Thank you to our dear friends and family who were with us on this day.  The flowers were beautiful (sorry Brett and Brittany.  Your flower basket was beautiful but hadn't arrived at the time of this picture) and the calls so appreciated.  Cale's parents were able to come up and send a balloon to heaven too.  It was a healing day and ironically not nearly as hard as the days that would follow. 

 We made a cute bunny cake and decorated your grave.  Emma loves to do this and we do too.  She loved this bunny cake (thank you Doug and Kim for the cake book!) and is so excited for her birthday. 

Happy 32nd!

Happy Birthday Honey!  I can't believe we are making our way through our 30s now and that you are 32.  I still feel 25 and too young to be where we are at but I'm so glad that I am where we are at with you.  You complete us.  You bouy me up when I can't do another day or another hour.  You work long hours and then come home and take over for me.  You do laundry, you cook, you give Emma her bath and wash her hair.  You give and you give and we love you for it.  Happy 32nd honey.